By Grace Cornell

“Sounds like you have a heart for the people…”

Collegiate’s newest Upper School counselor, Antenette Stokes, has always had very close ties to Virginia. She was born in Richmond, lived in Hampton until third grade, and then lived in Gloucester through high school. Stokes attended Chowan University in Murfreesboro, North Carolina, where she majored in psychology with a minor in small business. She then went on to receive her Masters of Arts in Professional Counseling at Liberty University. According to Stokes, counseling was not always what she wanted to do; however, after reading medical horror stories relating to her original dream of being an OB/GYN, she turned to her father for advice on what career to pursue. Stokes expressed her love for listening to and meeting people, to which her dad replied “sounds like a psychologist or a counselor.” 

Her work as a counselor has taken her overseas on multiple occasions. In addition to traveling in her study abroad days, Stokes has worked and studied in Turkey, Greece, Israel, Palestine, Egypt, Paris, Italy, Dominican Republic, and India. Her attraction to working overseas is the uncomfortable situations that she encounters dealing with trauma and crisis in different cultures and how they lead to cultural exploration. A study abroad opportunity brought Stokes and 19 other students, chosen out of 350 applicants, to partner with Geneva College to complete a Group Process Therapy course in Rome, Italy. In Rome, she stayed above a convent that housed a body of Spanish-speaking nuns. During 2019, while in India, she worked in Goa with first responders of women and children that were being rescued from sexual trafficking rings; Stokes said that a “surreal” experience like that really “triggers you to grow.”  Her diverse job opportunities overseas have allowed Stokes to expand her views and become a better counselor, which, in her words, “goes hand-in-hand with being a better community member.”  

In addition to her counseling work overseas, Stokes has found herself working as a mental health therapist, behavioral specialist, and most recently, before her transition to Collegiate, a supervisor for a crisis therapeutic facility. Stokes enjoys her variety of work because working solely in trauma or solely in a school would be “too much of either.” She has found a balance that works for her, resulting in extremely gratifying situations. When asked about one of her most rewarding experiences, Stokes replied, “watching a client or a student achieve their goals, when everyone counted them out.”  Her work brings her into tough situations, but Stokes’ love for people allows her to find the best in them, despite circumstances; “maybe it’s not for everybody but it’s definitely for me.”

Stokes made the choice to come to Collegiate mainly because of her passion for Upper School students; “my bread and butter.” She describes high schoolers by saying “their wings are open, and they are about to soar.” Being a high school counselor allows her to help students through so many uncertainties. Stokes’ first impression of Collegiate was how “huge” and “college-like” the campus was, and that the community had a “family presence.” Stokes also attributed her decision to work here to Collegiate’s passion for their students that matched hers, and the large community aspect. She wanted to be a part of the way the faculty and staff “come together and go above and beyond to support students.” Even in the COVID era, Stokes was not hesitant to work at Collegiate in person due to the concrete steps being taken to ensure safety, and because her previous job as a crisis therapeutic facility supervisor already had her on the front lines; in her words, “crisis never stops.”

Stokes is currently working on her PhD in counselor education and supervision, with a specification in trauma and crisis, at Walden University online and will be finished in two years. Despite having a job that leads her into heavy situations, Stokes is an upbeat and optimistic person who always seems to have a smile on her face.

Here are some fun facts about our newest counselor: her favorite food is “hands down” macaroni and cheese, “in any form.” Her favorite color changes, but is currently rose gold, in addition to anything sparkly. Her favorite movie “in the entire world” is the Halloween classic Hocus Pocus; this fits right in with her love of the fall season. Stokes has a seventy-pound pitbull named Titus, who is a certified therapy dog that she rescued from New York.

She wants the students to know that her door is always open, and she challenges each student to “ground themselves, develop a healthy method towards production, and understand that perfection is yet an unachievable task as it does not exist. Love yourself through this time, be kind to yourself, and try your best.” Stokes’ love of life and people is contagious, and it is incredibly obvious how excited she is to be at Collegiate. 

Photos courtesy of Antenette Stokes.