April Fools Headlines 2K19

HUMOR

  • Kilt Not Fingertip Length

  • New Chicken Tender Recipe in McFall: Chicken On The Outside, Breading On The Inside

  • Pizza Sticks Return

  • Trump Labels The Match Fake News

  • Horseplay Now Permitted In Lab

  • Had There Been No Horseplay In The Lab, Student Would Have Lived

  • Brad Cooke Free Solos Ropes Course

  • Breaking News: Boys and Girls Sit Together

  • Cafe Uses $7000 Espresso Machine

  • Business Office Audited For Misappropriating $7000

  • History Class Slides Now In Color!

  • AirPods Now Required For Upper School

  • Robotics Team Robot Acquires Sentience and Kills 72% Of Team Members.

  • New Parking Garage Plans Result in 79% Tuition Increase

  • Lights Coming To Grover Jones!

    • All Players To Wear Headlamps (Sold Separately)

  • New Courses:

    • AP Bracketology

    • AP Tattoos

    • AP The Bachelor

    • AP Memes

    • AP Junior Parking (Seniors-Only Course)

    • AP Clapping

Featured image courtesy of Pixabay.

About the author

Sheldon has been writing for The Match since 2007. He is a perpetual senior, coming close to graduating a few times. In his free time, he enjoys watersports, such as chess and calculus.