By Cameron Ruh

At Collegiate, it can be quite hard to find moments to recharge during the activity-packed school week. Students often have a demanding schedule packed with academics, athletics, and a plethora of other activities, and faculty members have numerous commitments in and out of the classroom. As these activities often take priority, time with family can be pushed aside.

On Wednesday, January 29th, Collegiate had its first Family Night, a new initiative spearheaded by new Head of School Penny B. Evins. The idea was simple: no homework or assessments due the next day, and no athletics or after-school activities. Students, faculty, and staff were to use the afternoon to take a much-needed step back from their busy schedule and spend time with their families.

Family Night had been an initiative in the making for several months prior. Evins explained that she “planted the seed from a distance” before taking the role of Head of School. She originally learned about Family Night when working at the Isidore Newman School in New Orleans, Louisiana about 12 years ago. She brought the event to the St. Paul’s School for Girls in Baltimore, Maryland and did the same when she arrived at Collegiate. Evins described Family Night as “a day of summer in the middle of winter” and felt that the Collegiate community could seriously benefit from an opportunity to recharge and reconnect with the important people in their lives. 

The implementation of Family Night seemed fairly simple, but many challenges arose in the process. “Calendaring for this was very tricky… finding time and space on the calendar is very competitive,” said Evins. It was difficult finding a day that worked with not only the academic calendar, but also athletics, performing arts, Cougar Quest, and external meetings of the Board of Trustees and volunteers. 

Despite initial struggles in finding the place for Family Night on Collegiate’s busy calendar, there was a general sense of excitement among students, faculty, and staff. Members of the Collegiate community began to make plans for their evening of recharging and relaxing. 

“Saying no homework and no activities is fine… but what do we do with that time?” questioned Evins.

When asked for suggestions for ideas for families, Evins explained that she is a “big lover of surrounding ourselves with food… whether that means going out or eating at home.” Many Collegiate families did spend their Family Night coming around a table to enjoy a meal. 

Kate Aaronson (‘21) had a birthday the following week, so she and her family “got dressed up and went out to dinner” for an early celebration. Other families ate at home, such as Upper School Spanish teacher Esperanza Soria-Nieto, who planned “to have dinner with my family like I do every night… except I will make [my son] Ivan [Soria-Hakwinson (‘21)] do the dishes.”

Many students took advantage of their free evening and spent their time relaxing at home with family. Grace Kinder (‘20) “watched the latest episode of The Bachelor with [her] mother,” and Sarina DePalma (‘21) and her family “ordered pizza and watched old family videos.” Family Night was also an opportunity to catch up on sleep, which many students unfortunately lack. Hayden Luckert’s (‘21) plan for Family Night was “to be in bed by 7:30.” 

In the activity-packed lives of Collegiate students, it is rare to have an entire afternoon with no school assignments, sports, or extracurricular activities. With their mandated free time, other Collegiate families decided to leave their homes for a fun evening of activity. Liam Ryan (‘21) enjoyed going to Drive Shack for a night of fun with his family. Virginia Angle (‘20) and her family tried axe throwing, which Angle described as a “great bonding experience.” Charlotte Harrison (‘20) explained her plans: “We’re going to Charlottesville for dinner—just for fun.”

Other suggestions from Evins included “a walk, a card game, or a board game… picking up trash in the community.” Whether or not families made specific plans or simply committed to an evening of relaxation, Evins hoped that it would not be a “chore,” but rather “something that brings us together.”

Evins envisioned Family Night as a “chance to do the may-do’s and not the must-do’s mid-week.” For faculty and staff, this meant staying off their emails and engaging in the present moment. She also explained her hopes “that people won’t be looking at what’s due on Friday, but instead engaging with the moment.” Many students and faculty did refrain from doing work on Family Night, like Upper School Spanish teacher Elsie Bustamante: “It felt nice to do that and not feel guilty about it,” she said. Others, however, felt burdened by the incoming workload for the rest of the week. Pender Bauhan (‘21) admits that she “ended up still doing homework, because my teachers loaded up work for Friday, and I didn’t want to be overwhelmed the next day.” Thomas Lucy (‘20) concurred: while he enjoyed spending a free evening with his family, “all my work just got pushed back to Friday.”

The practicality of Family Night was another concern that arose in the process. Evins was sure to acknowledge the “inconvenience for some families to make plans to pick their children up and perhaps leave work early,” particularly since Cougar Quest, which offers after-school care until 6 p.m., was closed for the day. Upper School math teacher David Kehlenbeck commented on the practical aspects of the event: “I think it’s a good idea, but it is difficult for parents to coordinate with their kids, especially if the kids are younger.” Jonah Joseph (‘20) explained that it was important not to assume that “all parents have the ability to take a Wednesday night off.” 

“And what exactly does family mean?” asked Evins. She explained that “no matter one’s family system, we all have a family of sorts.” This distinction was key, as members of the Collegiate community had very different Family Nights, depending on what people’s family systems looked like. Evins continued, “I’m sensitive to what that word means to different people. Family doesn’t always mean blood relatives.”

When asked her vision for the future of Family Night, Evins explained that she hoped it would “be a big success and people are going to want more.” She thinks “twice a year would be great.” Many students and teachers agreed with this sentiment. Upper School Associate Director of Student Life Missy Herod commented, “I hardly have the chance to go out on weeknights because I’m usually at school. I’m hoping for more Family Nights in the future.”

“I have lots of ideas, but I want it to come from within the community,” explained Evins. “It’s such a gift to be at a place that is responsive and open to the idea. I look forward to hearing from the students to see how it went.”

Featured image credit: Vlastik Svab.