By Pearse Riendeau

In the Collegiate parking lot during the school day, you will often find Trish, my 2006 Mercedes E-350 sedan. When I am driving Trish, you will often see me with my knees hitting the area under the steering wheel and my head scraping the top of the car, due to her small sedan nature. She is coated in shiny silver paint, described by Mercedes as “iridium silver.” On the hood rests a Mercedes-branded hood ornament that sticks up off the hood of the car and attempts to give the car a luxury look. This, however, you will come to find is false.

The luxury hood ornament adorning Trish. 

Trish, the 2006 E-350.

From the outside, a bystander might notice the scratches on the back of Trish, or the dent just above the back left tire from the Collegiate parking lot that I have yet to find time to get fixed; but to me, these are not her most noticeable features. I believe that, like with people, her true personality is on the inside. Some people have referred to Trish as a “foreign,” due to her German origins. However, I think that Trish is undeniably a US citizen now due to her 16-year stay in America.

Driver’s side view.

Entering the driver’s side, you will notice that on the floor of the passenger seat there is a box of cereal. This might seem rather odd; however, the Aldi brand Cap’n Crunch —“Kid’s Crunch”—is one of my favorite cereals to snack on before or after school, or at almost any time of the day.

Next, you will notice the NBA Youngboy chain hanging from the rearview mirror. This $22 Amazon purchase was definitely not the best way my money could have been spent. But supporting the best rapper in the game is important, especially right now, after he was captured by authorities and arrested for his outstanding warrants. Also hanging from the rearview mirror is a New Car-scented little blue tree that has long since lost its smell and now serves as something else to block my vision while driving. 

The purposeless decoration hanging from the rearview mirror.

On the dashboard, you will find the “Check Engine” light that does not turn off and has been on as long as I have had the car. Also accompanying the Check Engine light is a constant reminder that my gas cap is not securely on, which is a result of the sensor that detects the gas cap being broken. These two lights on the dashboard will always accompany me wherever I go, always giving me a sense of company when I am driving. 

In the cupholder, you will find a pair of sunglasses, along with a random assortment of pens and pencils that I choose from before making a desperate run to try and make it to the temperature scanner before it closes at the beginning of the school day. Not featured in my car is an auxiliary cable, so as a result, I have turned to an FM transmitter that plugs into the 12-volt outlet in my car and connects to my phone, just so that I can play my music in my car. Luxury at its finest. 

If you open the glove box, you will find an assortment of various napkins from different fast food places that will most likely never be used but have just been stockpiled over time. I am sure that this ever-growing stash will one day surpass the carrying capacity of the glove box, and I will finally have to decide what to do with the unreasonable amount of napkins.

Somewhere in this pile of napkins is my car registration and also the owner’s manual. Also under this pile of napkins is a Swiss Army knife and a flashlight in case of emergency. On top of the pile of napkins is a box of Lactaid, an enzyme supplement I need for lactose intolerance. Unlike the Swiss Army knife and Flashlight, which are used in case of emergencies, Lactaid is in my car to prevent emergencies. 

Trish’s back seat.

In the back seat is where people begin to think that my car is dirty, but I would say that this is not true and say that I am simply well prepared. On any given day, you’ll find my baseball duffel bag resting across the back, middle, and right seats. This is an inconvenience, because it immediately reduces the number of people who can ride in my car from five to three. However, it is also very convenient for the days when I have baseball practice, because I always know where my baseball gear is. My cleats are also always in the back of my car, somewhere on top of my baseball bag, or on the floor behind the driver or passenger seat. The clothes I packed for practice also are always somewhere on the backseat. Jackets I didn’t end up wearing, socks, shorts, and other shirts also find their home in the back seat. 

Many people wonder why I don’t ever just put my baseball bag in the trunk, as that would seem to be a logical solution to the issue that I have created. This, however, is not a viable solution to this problem. My trunk is packed full with an assortment of items that I think are necessary to be well prepared for whatever might happen, whereas many people might think they are not important items. 

The trunk, for reference.

My large, rolling ECOXGEAR Boulder speaker is in my trunk, just so that if I ever find myself in a situation where music needs to be broadcast over a large area, I’m ready. 

In addition, I have a lawn chair and a tent, in case a sudden urge to go camping arises, or more likely I find myself in a situation where I can’t get home due to car issues or other reasons and need to have a place to sleep. 

Finally, there is a box containing six quarts of AmazonBasics Synthetic Motor Oil. This might seem like another strange thing to have, but because of how fast my car burns and leaks oil, I would consider it a necessity. As a result of all of these items that take up almost every bit of what little trunk space in my car, my baseball bag, unfortunately, does not fit. 

Friend, neighbors, and classmates have all gotten to know Trish over the years. Neighbor Collin Kimball-McKavish (‘22) often rides in Trish to and from baseball practice, so he has experience with the car. He told me that, “When I first got in the car, I thought it was super dirty, but eventually I realized that it really wasn’t. There isn’t trash all over the floor, but there’s just a lot of stuff. All different kinds of stuff.” He’s right; it’s not dirty, but simply “organized clutter,” according to Kimball-McKavish. 

This does seem like a strange concept to many, but to me it just makes sense. Why not have everything you might need for the day ready and packed away right as you leave the house in the morning? To an untrained eye, sure, my car might seem dirty or messy. I take pride in knowing that I will always know where everything in my car is. Having a well-equipped car has become part of my way of life, and is something I can’t imagine not having. Sure, people have called my car “disgusting,” or even “filthy.” That’s okay. Everyone deserves to have their own opinion. Just know that when an unexpected camping trip pops up, I’ll be the one who gets the last laugh. 

All photos by Pearse Reindeau.