OPINION

The opinions published by The Match are solely those of the author, and not of the entire publication, its staff, or Collegiate School. The Match welcomes thoughtful commentary and response to our content. You can respond in the comments below, but please do so respectfully. Letters to the Editors will be published, but they are subject to revision based on content or length. Letters can be sent to match@collegiate-va.org.

By Slate Lambert

Many people may debate the question of what is the best breakfast restaurant, but there is only one valid choice, the staple of the South, Waffle House.

While the name of the restaurant might lead you to believe it is just a place to go get a waffle, it is much more than that. The atmosphere that the customers and employees form makes it more of a Waffle Home. This homey feeling does not only apply to certain locations; it applies to the entire chain. No matter the state or time of day, you are treated with the same great southern hospitality and food every time. The chain is committed to “Good Food Fast,” and this is completely true, even when full their top-of-the-line cooks have those delicious waffles ready at a moment’s notice. Waffle House is so well known for staying open, no matter the conditions, that FEMA has adopted an informal scale to gauge how destructive a storm or natural disaster is, known as the Waffle House Index.  

Sausage, egg, and cheese Hashbrown Bowl at Waffle House. Photo credit: Slate Lambert.

Waffle House serves much more than smiles and waffles. Possibly the best thing they serve is the sausage, egg, and cheese hashbrown bowl. This perfect combination of four simple ingredients is all someone needs to achieve total satisfaction. I have personally perfected the Waffle House order. It consists of one sausage, egg, and cheese hashbrown bowl, one waffle, and a glass of milk. This meal of choice is best enjoyed at two particular times: anytime after 10:30 p.m. and around 8:00-9:30 am. These times usually feature the perfect mix of funny customers and entertaining employees. 

The Match conducted a simple poll asking Upper School students to weigh in on their favorite breakfast restaurant. I was sad to see that Waffle House (32%) fell in second place behind IHOP (37%), which is a far inferior chain. However, coming in second place meant there were many like-minded people with my view of Waffle House. Syd Jamison (‘22) loves how “It’s open 24 hours and has a great variety of delicious food. Waffle House can’t be beaten.” Malcolm Pace (‘24) believes “The family atmosphere in Waffle House is unmatched; you feel like you’re in your home kitchen watching your food be cooked to perfection from over the counter.” 

Match poll results. Image credit: Slate Lambert.

IHOP came first in the polling, which clearly means everyone who voted for it simply has not experienced the pleasure brought to you by a fluffy golden brown waffle from Waffle House.

IHOP, which stands for International House of Pancakes, lacks the homey and welcoming feeling that you receive at your local Waffle House. On top of that, you never know what you are going to get when walking into an IHOP, with 99% of their locations being independent franchises. They lack the similar structure and comfort of your own kitchen table that Waffle House has. 

The so-called International House of Pancakes was created as a failed attempt to top the far superior Waffle house. The chain was started in California in 1958 after seeing the great success it had in the Southeast with waffles. However, IHOP has never succeeded in overtaking their opponent due to the nature of the pancake. Pancakes lack the perfectly formed dimples of a waffle, which act as holding tanks for syrup, allowing for a more enjoyable experience. 

Enjoying steak and milk at IHOP. Photo credit: Whit Wallace.

What makes the argument for the superiority of Waffle House even easier is the passion behind the people in the poll, something IHOP lacked from their voters. Most were simply settling, like Rory Jones (‘24), who said “Waffle House is shady… so I chose the safest option.” The only people who truly like IHOP don’t even go there for the pancakes, like Mason Chapman (‘22), who says they have the “Best steak and milk for your money.”

Silver Diner, which has one location in the Richmond area at West Broad Street and Cox Road, falls into a slightly different category than the other two. It is not a large national chain with 1000s of locations. It only has 19 locations in Virginia, Maryland, D.C., and New Jersey. 

Much like IHOP, Silver Diner lacked the passion that Waffle House so proudly has from its fans. Many people chose it simply because they didn’t like Waffle House or IHOP. Those who don’t mind dropping their entire college fund on a meal, however, may enjoy Silver Diner. Jack Bradley (‘23) is one of these people: “The food is immaculate. The ability to get breakfast, lunch, and dinner whenever you like is beyond my understanding of greatness.”

Featured image photo credit: Slate Lambert.