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By Sarah Beth Neese

Born a mere two minutes before me, Hudson Neese (’23) entered the world as an only child. However, he did not realize that his title as “only child” would be immensely short-lived. Hudson’s two minutes of freedom is something he never fails to mention to me regularly. After living seventeen years of my life alongside my twin brother, it is evident that being a twin can be a blessing and undoubtedly also a curse.

Having a twin brother could possibly be one of the most frustrating yet rewarding things in my life. On the days when I need to talk to someone who is not one of my friends, he is there. But, nonetheless, on the days where I want to be left alone, he is still there. And this isn’t “he’s there for me” in the “I’m here to comfort you” way; I mean, he’s there for me in the “I want to annoy you” way.

Current junior twins as children. Photo credit: Sarah Beth Neese.

After discussing what being a twin means, both Hudson and I agree that it has its benefits, but it also has its downsides. Especially at school, these downsides can significantly outweigh the benefits. Hudson says, “Sometimes I enjoy going to the same school as you. It comes in handy when we take similar classes, but having the same friends can be hard.”

Friends. Mutual friendships have been very complicated between us for many years. Being in the same friend group as your brother can be tough and can present several challenges. For example, whose friends were Hudson’s friends, and whose friends were my friends? Could Hudson’s friends date me? Could my friends date Hudson? Which of Hudson’s friends were mine, and which of my friends were Hudson’s? Are they friends with me because of Hudson, or do they actually enjoy being around me? So often, I ask myself these questions, an occurrence I don’t think will ever go away. Thankfully, as we have grown up and adjusted to the hardships of high school, the answers to these questions have become more apparent.

Despite this, they are many things that remain unclear. For example, one of the significant downsides of being a twin is the constant comparison between Hudson and me. Yes, we are both in the same grade, taking the same classes, and to some extent doing the same sports, but is it necessary to tell me how much better he is doing than me all the time? If I had a nickel for every time my parents compared Hudson’s and my grades, I would be rich. And I mean rich. Fortunately, I am not alone.

Like Hudson and me, the Tidey twins do not share the pleasure of being a duo. William Tidey (’23) says, “I don’t like being a twin, because my parents always compare us, even though we both have different interests and talents.”

Collegiate junior girl twins. Photo credit: Nina Zeballos.

Twin Lilli Zeballos (’23) says, “My least favorite thing about being a twin is the constant comparison; whether people compare us to our faces or not, we know it is inevitable.” It is no mistake that when it comes to twins, there will always be comparisons. But when there’s comparison, there’s competition.

Guiding me throughout my entire life has been my strong desire to be better than Hudson, whether that’s in sports, in school, or in life. I just simply have to be the better twin. Yet, I am often overshadowed by his so-called “greatness.” Even in the womb, I was overshadowed by him, as Hudson took up three-fourths of the space, and I was shoved into the corner with my feet above my head, according the ultrasound.

Collegiate senior girl twins. Photo credit: Lotti Stefanovich.

When asked about her least favorite part of being a twin, Lotti Stefanovich (’22) shared, “How people don’t always take the time to learn who we are as separate people and just immediately classify us as ‘the twins.’ I would also say constant competition… that really sucks too.” Although the competition between Hudson and me can be frustrating, it can also be rewarding. By challenging each other every day, we push each other to be the best version of ourselves. Zeballos says, “I feel I push myself more academically, physically, and socially because of the healthy competition between us.”

Although there a many challenges with being a twin, they are also some benefits. We always have a person to always share life with. Hudson detailedly exclaimed that his favorite part about being a twin is “having a person in the same grade as me.” I think we as twins are at an advantage over our peers because we never have to confront life alone. I always have a default study buddy and a listening ear to talk about my current problems. Frequently, I take these advantages for granted. I forget that Hudson is more than just my twin and that he is most likely experiencing the same struggles of being a junior this year as I am.

Others find joys in being a twin where I do not, such as going to the same school. Scarlett and Annabel Eastep (’23) love being twins. Scarlett says, “I like going to the same school because she knows what I’m dealing with, but we have different experiences as well, so it doesn’t feel competitive.”

Collegiate junior girl twins. Photo credit: Annabel Eastep.

In addition to this, Annabel says, “It’s always fun to see Scarlett in the hallways sometimes!” In my experience with going to the same school as Hudson, I would be lucky if I got a “Hi” from him in the hallways. Lotti’s experience at school is also quite different. She says, “We get to dance together every day, and that is something that I love doing together that we wouldn’t be able to had we gone to different schools.” Although seeing Hudson at school doesn’t make my day, it is nice to have someone who takes all the same classes as me. If I ever find myself stuck on a math problem or questioning a physics concept, I know Hudson is always a door away to help me.

Clearly, Hudson is not a huge fan of being a twin. When asked if he could have the option not to be a twin anymore, he answered with, “Yes, because they are more downsides than benefits.” As you can tell, the Neese twins are not filled with overwhelming joy towards being a twin. If given the option, I’m not sure if my response would be any different than his. Although it is enjoyable at times, there are so many things I wish I could experience without being a twin. For example, my birthday. I mean, our birthday. It can never be just my birthday; it’s always Hudson’s birthday too. Despite this, I believe if we both had more chances to sit down and think about what being a twin actually means, we would feel better about the title of “twin.”

Feature picture credit: Sarah Beth Neese.