OPINION

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By Walker Clemans

A loaded sandwich. Photo credit: Yelp user Richard W.

Since the beginning of time, a question has tugged at the imagination of mankind. A question that has sent some of the greatest explorers of human history searching for its answer. What is the greatest sub sandwich in the world? 

Or, at least, the greatest sub less than 20 minutes from my house? 

I, along with several intrepid companions, traversed the said area in my somewhat reliable 2002 Toyota Forerunner in an attempt to find the answer. I will be rating each of the five locations we visited out of ten, along with an explanation of my rating.

Before I began my quest, I established the criteria I would be judging the subs with. First and foremost were the contents of the sub. Meat-to-lettuce ratio, the quality of the bread, and any condiments. Secondary considerations were things like drinks and the environment.

Exterior of Mr. Submarine. Photo credit: Yelp user Patrick.

First, and least, with 6/10, we have Stuffy’s, a mainstay of the West End in the Libbie and Grove shopping area. While I have nothing against Stuffy’s and have enjoyed it plenty of times, the food is decidedly mid. The bread was fine and the assortment of ingredients was satisfying. However, in terms of the best sub competition, it hardly competes. There is nothing to hate, but I simply cannot find a reason to give it a higher rating. There was ultimately nothing that truly stood out about these subs. 

Next, we have Mr. Submarine on West Broad Street. Mr. Submarine earned an 8/10. While the sub was decent, they did lose points for a lack of meat, as well as the drive-through-only arrangement, which caused my car to smell of salami and onions for days. The bread was immaculate and definitely raised the level of the sub, despite the lack of meat. This was somewhat disappointing, as I found myself hunting for a solid bite towards the end of the sub. Apart from their sandwiches, their homemade sweet tea was delicious. Overall, Mr. Submarine was an enjoyable experience, and if you live nearby I would recommend it.

A sub from Bernie’s. Photo credit: Yelp user Jeffrey R.

Next, we have the famous Bernie’s Subs at the Tuckahoe Shopping Center on Ridge Road. This incredible sub earns a 9/10. Bernie’s was comparable to Mr. Submarine in terms of general sub makeup and bread style, but it earned the extra point in a few key places. First and foremost, Bernie’s did not have the issue that Mr. Submarine did with a lack of meat, and I found myself incredibly satisfied with the contents of the sub. Secondly, Bernie’s hot peppers sauce adds a level of flavor to the sub which I really enjoyed. The extra kick made the sub that much better. Lastly, Bernie’s vibe is immaculate. The small sub shop’s walls are plastered with newspaper clippings and  pennants, some decades old, from innumerable colleges, which gives it an awesome hometown feel.

The final restaurant and clear winner is Mary Angela’s Pizzeria, with a 9.5/10. These amazing sandwiches are criminally underrated. This could be due to their pizza, which is incredible, but the subs are just unbeatable. Mary Angela’s sub has everything you could want. Great bread, plenty of meat, complemented with onions, lettuce, and Italian dressing. I am tempted to call it the perfect sub, though that claim will require more research.