By John Seevers

“Fight with a smile every day because you love what you’re doing and who you’re doing it with.”

Stanley and Peavey on the sidelines of a varsity lacrosse game.

This text was sent by Alex Peavey, then an Upper School coach and counselor, during the 2017 lacrosse season, after a hard-earned win against a VISAA powerhouse program. Then head coach (and now Athletic Director) Andrew Stanley received the text and immediately understood how special this text was. The spring of 2017 was a great season for the boys lacrosse program, but Peavey and his family of four were focused on a much more important struggle. The Match checked in with Peavey last month to get an update on his life in the years since that fateful spring.

As a kid, Peavey grew up moving constantly, due to his father working for different universities. Due to the high frequency of moves, Peavey finds himself often asked if he grew up in a military family. His response would always be, “Nope, university family.” 

Peavey found himself settled in Richmond in 2004 as a counselor in the Upper School, as well as the head varsity basketball coach and an assistant lacrosse coach. After many outstanding seasons and several rings both on the field and on the court, Peavey started noticing extreme fatigue in early 2017. This exhaustion was so severe and persistent that every day at 2 p.m., Peavey would lock his office doors and take a 30-minute nap. Without this nap, Peavey would not have made it through practices and games after school.

Peavey and future NFL star Russell Wilson (’07) during a Collegiate varsity basketball game in the mid-2000’s.

Peavey had a feeling that something was very wrong, and he decided to begin the lengthy process of testing. Doctors immediately noticed that some bloodwork numbers were dangerously low. After a few more days of confusion regarding what could be wrong, one doctor finally realized that both his kidneys were at 40 percent failure and were failing 10 percent more every 24 hours. This discovery was made on a Friday, and he was advised to rush to the emergency room as soon as possible and was told he would be lucky to survive through the weekend.

Peavey then underwent surgeries on each kidney. Eventually, further test results came back, and the doctors were finally able to pinpoint the problem: a diagnosis of prostate cancer that had already spread to other parts of his body. Terminal cancer. Peavey was 39, an age at which prostate cancer is uncommon. Doctors gave him months to live.

Peavey began chemotherapy, which initially went well, and his life expectancy continued to increase as he surpassed each date. Looking back now on the seven years since his diagnosis, Peavey states, “I would go for two or three-month chunks just surviving, and making it to the next chunk, which consisted of more surviving. I knew at some point I would be able to get back to things I love.”

Peavey left Collegiate in 2018 but did get back to doing what he loved, landing his dream job, a role that revolved around helping VCU’s basketball programs practice mindfulness daily. 

Peavey continued to work until his life changed again when he underwent yet more surgery, and in 2020 doctors discovered a second cancer that had been growing inside the original cancer. At this point, in May 2020, he was given five months to live if the chemotherapy did not work and a maximum of 12 months if the chemotherapy went well. Yet once again, he overcame this major obstacle and continuing to co-exist with terminal cancer.

Again in 2023, Peavey was recommended more treatment for his cancer, but the national chemotherapy supply was cut in half. The patent being used ran out, and therefore the market value for the chemotherapies decreased drastically, causing multiple different companies to cease producing the product. Cancer patients around the country were affected. Despite these challenges, Peavey has maintained and stayed focus on his health and living in the moment. 

Peavey coaching with Upper School history and religion teacher Brian Justice (’85).

A question that immediately comes to mind is, how? How can one person do the impossible again, and again, and again? 

Modern medicine plays a role in this, but less obviously, Peavey credits his longevity to his family and also the practice of mindfulness.

Peavey’s journey in mindfulness began when he was 15 years old and on a road trip throughout the western United States. This trip included rock climbing, hikes, rafting, and many other strenuous activities. At the halfway point of this four-week excursion, the group stopped to practice mindfulness. Peavey recalls, “I noticed so much of a difference in my performance mentally and physically. I didn’t know it yet, but that trip completely changed my life.”

Peavey said, “When I got home, I knew i wanted to investigate mindfulness, but I was still really just dabbling. This changed when I checked out a book called Sacred Hoops. This was about [Hall-of-Fame NBA coach] Phil Jackson’s usage of mindfulness, in a time when mindfulness was called sports psychology and yoga was called stretching.” Society today has opened up to mindfulness, but in Peavey’s earlier years, not many people knew about its benefits.

Peavey continued to focus on mindfulness, even studying it in college and turning it into his career path. He was and still is fascinated with the effects of mindfulness, and in college he realized that he wanted to help mindfulness reach other people’s lives. He describes himself as a radio, implying that he is transmitting knowledge that he has picked up through his obsession with mindfulness.

The Peavey family.

When Peavey was initially diagnosed with cancer, he felt as if all of the mental work he had been doing was for that day. One reason he was able to sit in that doctor’s office and be fully present to receive his diagnosis was because he used several meditations on his walk from the car to the office.

Today, is focused on his family and being fully present every day. He and his wife Sarah (’01), a former Upper School French teacher, are happy to have their children Bodhi (’30) and Sarah Jane (’31) as part of the Collegiate community this year. 

Peavey has also indirectly affected thousands of people all over the country, through articles about him, but also through the Peavey Project, an organization started in honor of Peavey by former Collegiate Upper School health and wellness teacher and coach Jake MacDonald (‘07) and current varsity football coach Collin McConaghy. While Peavey is not directly involved with the Project, he does fully support their mission, which, as described by McConaghy, is “to help give individuals proactive tools to enhance their mental health and well-being, which ultimately leads to greater performance, whether it is in the classroom or on the playing field.”

All photos courtesy of Alex Peavey.