By Mary Mason Ingold

This past summer, former Upper School counselor Dr. Antenette Stokes became Collegiate’s new Director of Inclusion and Belonging. In this new school-wide position, she will be working with students, teachers, alumni, and all members of the school community to ensure Collegiate is a safe place to be ourselves. She has helped with many Collegiate events and is known for her self-expression as a school leader, stating that “inclusion and belonging is for everyone.” In an interview with The Match, Stokes says she has “taken the wheel” in her new role and that she is “building the bridge as I cross it.” 

Dr. Stokes leading Upper School students in a dance during the United Sisters and Brothers Soulful Celebration. Photo courtesy of Antenette Stokes.

Since her childhood, Dr. Stokes’ father always told her that she “had a heart for the people.” She said that she “didn’t understand what that meant” at first. Dr. Stokes could not yet comprehend the aiding potential others saw in her, but with life experience, she has come to embrace this trait beautifully. She was the first person in her family to earn a college degree, a BS in psychology from Chowan University, which she says was “hard for me to navigate all by myself.” She eventually earned an MA in Professional Counseling at Liberty University, and she recently completed her Doctorate in Healthcare Administration from Virginia University of Lynchburg, an HBCU (Historically Black College/University) founded in 1886. Her accomplishments were possible because of her love of learning about others and the journey of continuing to discover herself.

She was always curious to learn more about people and their backgrounds, so she became a therapist. As a licensed professional counselor, Stokes has carried her people skills with her to all her jobs, and opportunities abroad, gaining experience working with others, learning from, and supporting them. She has always wanted “all people to achieve equal access to the same opportunities,” no matter how big or small. Stokes repeatedly told me that her primary goal in her new role is to ensure that everyone’s voices can be heard, and everyone “has a place at the table.”

Photo courtesy of Antenette Stokes.

Dr. Stokes now has the opportunity to hear people’s voices and elevate them onto higher platforms. She talked about the upcoming challenges in her new position, such as trying to physically be seen throughout the entire school, given how much outreach is needed for one person working with the entire school community.

Dr. Stokes added that we “have to intentionally work on our comfort levels in order to be able to have uncomfortable conversations about positive and negative opinions to grow. With the history of ‘being cancelled’ and cancel culture, it can cause people fear,” resulting in difficulty for society to have open discussions about sensitive topics. Dr. Stokes job is centered around “sparking innovation” in the Collegiate community and to be a voice for others who are not in the room. She emphasized that, “inclusion and belonging is for EVERYONE!”

She stated how much she dislikes conflict in general, but it is her job to engage with it. She wants everyone to be open and see new approaches to solutions, even if it means “coming out of myself to advocate for others.”

Despite these challenges, Dr. Stokes has made a promise that she will always show up to work as her most authentic self, no matter the situation. After years of searching for her own identity, she has finally let go of her social anxiety and embraced herself. Because of her authentic aura, people in the Collegiate community naturally gravitate toward her. This strength of hers is something that makes her a great choice for being Collegiate’s new Director of Inclusion and Belonging, and she continues to be a faculty mentor for the Upper School’s Black student affinity group, United Sisters and Brothers.

Dr. Stokes’ takeaway was that she “works to no longer have a job.” She strives to work until all of her and the community’s goals have been embedded into this institution. Once there is no work for her left to do, she will be satisfied. With the amount of progress she is hopeful the community will make, she jokes that her position might not even exist in 10 years. This would be a positive outcome for Dr. Stokes; she would have witnessed the school’s community members pave a way for a brighter, more inclusive and healthy future at Collegiate.